Holding Space
Making Time and Space for Creativity
Students often roll their eyes and give me the side-eye typically reserved for liars and cheats when I tell them I frequently struggle to paint, finish, or even begin a painting.
Here’s a secret: everyone, accomplished, amateur, and beginners, struggle to paint. But before we even get to the struggle to paint phase, we all struggle with holding open the space and time to paint.
We have succumbed so thoroughly to the capitalistic mindset that unless we spend our time doing something that benefits someone else materially, physically, or spiritually, we’re “wasting” time. With all our time spoken for, we struggle to make time for creative endeavors often because the only value our creativity has is for ourselves.
Don’t believe me? Ask yourself how often in the last week you thought about doing something that seemed fun and creative but didn’t because of your to-do list or someone else’s needs.
Why is it so hard to value ourselves and our needs for creative playtime when we ask ourselves? For me, the answer is because I’m always asking, “Is this worth it?” The truth is most paintings fail. Most creative endeavors produce two things: a learning experience and something that isn’t quite right or doesn’t match the vision in our heads.
I’ve come to understand that I can’t beat myself up when I ask the “Is it worth it?” question. Instead, I must ask a second question: “Is it worth it to whom?” I can’t show up for others with a broad smile and a generous heart if I first don’t show up for myself
We need time and nurturing to become the people and artists we want to become. Don’t beat yourself up if you haven’t held that open space. In my practice, I struggle to get into the studio.
I recognized that the most challenging part of painting was opening the studio door and going in. That’s it. It got even more difficult in a wholly counter-productive and self-sabotaging move when Prince Charming built me the studio of my dreams. Who was I to deserve this magnificent space?
The trick to overcoming my fears was going to the studio. I set the bar ridiculously low. All I needed to do, I told myself, was sit in the studio for 10 minutes. Once there, I’d pick up a brush or a pencil, and the next thing I knew, a couple of happy hours later, I was back in the creative flow.
Still, the next day, the demons stood blocking the studio door. So once more, a promised 10 minutes in the studio.
It’s not an all-or-nothing proposition. You can do your to-do list, do for others, and hold space for yourself because we give our best to others when we don’t neglect ourselves. You can be a “real” artist 10 minutes at a time.
Happy painting!
xo
Felicia
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